Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why was Jim happy that after dieting he fit into his old clothes?

He knew that when it comes to dieting, it's survival of the fit-est.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Mike buy picture frames?

Someone suggested that he reframe his problems.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What can you say about a teacher without any students?

He's in a class all by himself.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did Jay attend traffic court for his illegal Left Turn?

He knew he was right.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What fruit did the restaurant serve to young couples getting to know each other?

Dates.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

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Akiva Lane
General
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What do you call a delicatessen that specializes in lox?

A lox smith.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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