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Akiva Weiss
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Why couldn't the broken piano get into the house?

It was missing the keys.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the owners of the Secure Hotel change its name?

The guests felt uncomfortable being in Secure.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people realize that calling their town Competent was not a good idea?

Then all the people in the town would be in Competent.

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Akiva Lane
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When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

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Akiva Lane
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When one spouse says, 'I've had it up to here', what can the other spouse say?

What is 'it' and where is 'here'?

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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of a memoir of the day-to-day tasks of someone who milks cows?

Daily dairy diary.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the Jones family put pails at the edge of their property?

Because everthing after that was beyond the pail.

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Akiva Lane
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How did David feel about praying in a talis?

It was a fringe benefit.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of insect has a name that indicates that it's always running away?

The flea.

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