Pictures:

What did Joey do when his mother said his bathroom towel was dirty, and he should throw it in the hamper?

He threw in the towel.

1386

What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

2459

Why did the insulted person steal a fence?

Because he took offense.

429

What do you call a tax on things that people do wrong?

Syntax.

462

Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

322

When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

1683

Which paintings are not on display in museums?

Those with no strings attached.

194

How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

1831

Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

2738

What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

530

What do you call a duck that is a bad doctor?

A quack.

1526

Why did the woman crash into the building where Mark had just been standing?

Her driving instructor told to hit the mark.

1801