Pictures:

While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

566

Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

1131

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

2766

Why didn't the actor work on Passover?

He couldn't have any roles.

3022

Why didn't Angela like shopping for fruits and vegetable?

Because often they were very fresh.

2767

Why did the guy on a date bring an elephant with him?

He wanted to have appeal.

3239

What is something before it was redundant?

Dundant.

1974

What's good advice when photographing celestial beings?

Be sure you get the best angel.

1027

Why is a sleeping person like a spy?

Because he is under cover.

1569

Why didn't Joe mind when the wind ripped the roof off his store?

He no longer had any overhead.

1975

When the camp went camping, what did they call the group that got splinters?

The splinter group.

2475