Pictures:

What did Max say when the mechanic said he must fix the car brakes?

Those are the breaks.

374

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

Why did Bill throw a stone out of the car window whenever he made a turn?

He didn't want to leave any turn un-stoned.

2144

Why did Sam look online for a site that sold scratch?

He wanted to build things from scratch.

1858

What school teaches about tea?

Universi-Tea.

681

What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

1054

What do employees of a pen company get when they retire?

A pen sion.

2882

What happened when the drummer rejoined the marching band?

There were repercussions.

1257

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

What do the words pigment, canvas, and paintbrush all have in common?

They are all terms of art.

2318

Why did Amy like giving watches as presents?

She felt there is no present like the time.

1643

What does Mount Everest and Las Vegas have in common?

They both involve 'to bet'.

2131