Pictures:

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

How did the Teddy Bear feel after dinner?

It felt stuffed.

2999

What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

234

What do you call a veterinarian that used to be in the army?

A vet vet.

1586

What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

910

How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

765

What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

668

Where was the toilet invented?

Flushing, NY

508

Which African nation is known for their pigs?

Guinea

1102

How did we know the Russian musician would be a good match for the ballet dancer?

Because he played the ballet lika.

815

What did Betty call the fish meals that she loved eating?

Delicious fishes.

2182