Pictures:

What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

2459

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

What do you call machines that sand down the surface of kernals of grain?

Kernal sanders.

407

What did the man's wife say when he woke up hung over, after a party?

She asked what was "ale"ing him.

706

How did Betty feel about her new job pressing clothes?

She found the pressing depressing.

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After being disappointed by the response he got, why did Jim go fishing at lake Excellent?

He was fishing for compliments.

538

Where do baseball teams store their baseball bats?

It the bat room.

3163

What is Barry the Smurf's nickname?

Blue Barry

2374

What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

997

What do you call aluminum foil that misbehaves and has too much power?

Alumi-naughty.

3244

Why was the athlete with a very bad cold very sad?

His nose was running more than he was.

2749

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380