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Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

1048

What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

1913

When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

546

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

Which part of the world do people contract mild forms of amnesia?

Micronesia

1104

Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

365

What happens when debt gets out of control?

It debt-inates.

1782

What is it called when someone drinks whisky when he has a sling on his arm?

A sling shot.

2911

What did Beverly say to the nut platter?

You're all nuts!

2160

Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

2463

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

3004

Why did the prisoner break out of jail?

Because he couldn't finish a sentence.

846