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What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

1767

What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

1656

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

2025

What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

2542

What did Michael Sherlock call the housing development that he built?

Sherlock Homes.

2607

Which industry holds most people's interest?

Banking

1084

If a store gives away packets of letter B's, what are they called?

Freebees.

2933

Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

1173

What music do you wrap presents to?

Rap music.

404

Why didn't the actor work on Passover?

He couldn't have any roles.

3022

Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

2124