Pictures:

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487

How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

726

What do dentists never tell their patients?

Keep your mouth shut.

623

How did Alan feel when he put down the heavy box of cucumbers?

Un-encumbered.

166

What is the person on the right doing?

He's using a needle to needlessly needle someone who doesn't need it.

2855

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

Why is this bench so comfortable?

The lumber support.

1062

What's a good name for a plumbing company?

In Sink

981

What do you call a store that sells candy and serves liquor?

A candy bar.

3331

How is a face similar to a shoe?

They both have a tongue.

2828

What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

2632

What vegetable has the best rhythm?

Beets.

177