Pictures:

Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

1901

How did light bulbs get their name?

They are not heavy.

1534

Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

2099

How did John like his job as a bartender?

He found it very pouring.

2500

What is the thinnest coat?

A coat of paint.

2905

What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

2387

What are these signs called?

Dollar signs.

3010

Why didn't the entrepreneur's projects succeed?

Because they never made cents.

418

Why did the bar have a very tall ceiling?

Because it wanted the customers to have less of a hangover.

1987

What nickname did Billy's English teacher give him because his essays were so good?

Bill of writes.

2383

What finger does a card-shark use to manipulate the card deck?

The in-decks finger.

2105

Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068