Pictures:

What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

3206

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

What part of doors can you eat?

The lox.

3263

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

What jail do bad jokes go to?

The pun-itentiary.

2403

What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

1749

Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because he was a little hoarse.

2643

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

What was Betty's reaction when the glass jar fell and broke?

She found it jarring.

2140

Why did Edith insist on drinking tea out of her own cup?

Any other way was not her cup of tea.

1874

When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

546

What is it called when you use an Apple computer to cut through loads of information to find what you are looking for?

Mac the knife.

2141