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What is the healthiest kind of table?

A vege-table.

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What is it called when something is discussed on X?

It is X-communicated.

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How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

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Which Einstein idea concerns family relations?

The Theory of Relativity.

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What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

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Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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How did Bertha feel about the numbers 3, 5, 7, and 9?

She thought they were odd.

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Why didn't the king allow anything to be placed over his throne?

He didn't want to think about the phrase 'over throne'?

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How do mountain goats seem to defy gravity on steep slopes?

They use cliffhangers.

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What was Benjamin Franklin's reaction when lightening struck his kite?

He found it enlightening.

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What kind of doctor is similar to a boring teacher?

An anesthesiologiest - they both put people to sleep.

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