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After a long winter, how did the tree feel in the spring?

It felt releaved.

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What happened when they put a lion in the elevator?

It caused an uproar.

2747

What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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Why was the runner a good executive?

He was good at cutting through red tape.

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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

1917

Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

2340

When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

450

Why didn't the entrepreneur's projects succeed?

Because they never made cents.

418

When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

457

Why did the factory that made car transmissions have problems?

Because their assembly line was make-shift.

2937

When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

546

What happened to the dry cleaner who processed a man's jacket with a wallet left in the pocket?

He was charged with money laundering.

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