Pictures:

What food is good for protecting a house?

Lox.

1743

Why did Bruce breed racing deer?

He wanted to make a fast buck.

1898

What is similar about these 2 pictures?

They are both sublime

1576

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

What is the origin of the word 'stain'?

It's a spot that is stayin' in the clothes.

141

How did Alan feel when he put down the heavy box of cucumbers?

Un-encumbered.

166

What 2 letters are very active?

BZ

2290

Why was Donny very confused about pens?

Because his teacher said that you could fit a lot of animals in a pen.

2944

Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

1687

Why are weddings often done under canopies?

To say that marriage is in tents.

1673

What was done wrong here?

Someone put all their eggs in one basket.

1700