Pictures:

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

Why is the ocean right now like money?

It's a current sea.

1425

How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

765

What do you call a person who makes great bagels and lox?

A lox-smith.

1729

What interpersonal skill is named after a Greek legend?

Apollo gize.

2205

Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

516

Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

1986

What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

1369

What is someone called who is always thinking about buildings?

He has an edifice complex.

207

How is a supermarket similar to a flock of male sheep?

There are a lot of aisles (ayel is Hebrew for a male sheep)

1780

What piece of clothing is named after the neck of a reptile?

Turtle neck sweater.

1675

Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653