Pictures:

Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

671

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

What is a curve that can set a lot of things straight?

A smile.

1657

What word is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary?

The word 'incorrectly'.

1896

What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

2982

Why did the kleptomaniac go to the doctor?

He wanted to know what he could take for his condition.

1654

What happened to the man who sued the airline for losing his luggage?

He lost his case.

856

What happens when you put on a thick sweater and get very hot?

You become the sweater.

1918

What does Sudafed mean?

Bringing litigation against a government official.

716

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

1899

What do you need to spell the word Panda?

Just a P and A.

1908

Why did Fred stop being an accountant?

He started hearing invoices.

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