Pictures:

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183

How did the boat sink at the dock?

Too much pier pressure.

1406

Why did Jerry choose to work with the elderly?

He enjoyed other Jerry-atrics.

246

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793

How do weight loss clinics refer to conversations regarding restricted foods?

Ate speech

1463

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

What did the man say after a meteor destroyed his house?

This really hit home.

2175

How did the tycoon ask his architect to design a modest home?

"Don't mansion it".

2034

What is one advantage of being indecisive?

Having the benefit of the doubt.

1821

Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

506

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520