Pictures:

What was the message on the chiropractor's answering machine?

We'll get BACK to you.

241

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

What were the Smiths not concerned with?

Keeping up with the Joneses.

214

Why was the plumber scared to unclog bathroom sinks?

It was usually a hair-raising experience.

1024

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

What happens when a hit ball that collides with a bird?

It's ruled a fowl ball

898

Which industry helps news broadcast companies remain profitable?

Radiology

757

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

Why was this water making high-pitched noises?

Because it was a creak.

1472