Pictures:

What does Sue do all day?

Sue

1482

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What do you call online support for barbers?

Eclips

2130

Which fruit cannot be consumed as a single entity?

A pair

2531

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

What happened on April 16th and 17th 1986?

This man got his dates mixed up.

1085

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

814

What do you call a bear that is manic depressive?

A bi-polar bear.

1861

What do we know about this man?

He's getting too big for his britches.

1307