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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

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What is the difference between a lawsuit, a birthday, and politics?

A lawsuit has 2 parties, a birthday has 1 party, and politics has many parties.

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Why did the left foot, when it was in back of a person, feel sad?

Because it felt left behind.

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How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

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What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

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What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

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What are examples of types of bread in a bakery called?

Roll models.

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What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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Where did Melinda keep information about doctors and medicine?

In her 'docs' folder on her computer.

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What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

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