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Akiva Lane
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After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bill's band - that hummed while playing drums - not successful?

It was humdrum.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of a river has the most money?

The river bank.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a berry that doesn't tell the truth about its books?

A lie berry.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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Akiva Lane
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What do longshoremen and medical secretaries have in common?

The both work at the docs.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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What do dentists never tell their patients?

Keep your mouth shut.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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Akiva Lane
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What do new packages of medicines and many aquariums and zoos have in common?

They have seals.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bob become a carpenter?

He was an apprentice to a carpenter, and that nailed it.

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