Pictures:

How did farmer Jones know not to feed his ox eggs?

Because the ox rebelled against any yokes.

1718

What pictures did the family put on the bedroom curtains?

Pictures of tomatoes and eggplants because they are nightshades.

2274

What liquid is able to run?

Running water.

2142

What is the opposite of an 'out voice', and what must be done with it?

An invoice, and it must be paid.

1585

What is ironic about Greenland and Iceland?

Greenland is mainly ice, and Iceland is mainly green.

1959

What math term did Alice not like?

The mean.

2445

Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

328

Why did Bill buy 2 pieces of chord, and gave one to his girlfriend?

He wanted to tie the knot.

1914

What happened to the kitchen pot when it's owner found it's lid?

It's now fully recovered.

2626

When the tree was cut down, why did it not know how to react?

It was stumped.

2049

What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

944

How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

3139