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Akiva Lane
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What is a father that sells soft-drinks called?

A soda pop.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

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Why couldn't Alan sit in a chair when he worked?

He was a stand-up comedian.

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What relationship involves the law of gravity at the center of the solar system?

The sun-in-law.

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What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

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Why should you be careful with things that seem great?

Because great begins with the word grey.

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What is good motto for a gym, to encourage people to lose weight?

Let there be light!

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What is similar between paying to use a towel at the gym, and a roll of Bounty towels?

One is a pay-per towel, and the other is a paper towel.

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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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When people asked Noah why he was building an ark, what did he answer?

Noah dea.

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Why did Billy find it hard to learn grammar involving the past and future?

It made him tense.

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