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How would you describe the fact that ducks make more and better eggs than chickens?

It's a para-ducks.

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How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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What does this represent?

The splitting of the the red sea.

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How did ice cream get its name?

When you go on a scale after eating it, you scream.

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Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

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Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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How is a supermarket similar to a flock of male sheep?

There are a lot of aisles (ayel is Hebrew for a male sheep)

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Why did Bob put some salt on everything he ate?

He was told to take everything with a grain of salt.

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What fruit is the favorite of men and women getting to know each other?

Dates.

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What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

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