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Akiva Lane
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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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Akiva Lane
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Is getting close to cousins important?

Yes, its relatively important.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Betty feel when her guests said they wanted coffee instead of her delicious Thyme tea?

She didn't want to waste her Thyme on them.

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Akiva Lane
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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry got a cold, why did go to the veterinarian?

He was a little hoarse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sally afraid that the vegetables would slap her?

Because she knew they were fresh.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Edith insist on drinking tea out of her own cup?

Any other way was not her cup of tea.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Jimmy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a bar that got bad reviews?

The booze got boos.

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