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Akiva Lane
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When is door not a door?

When it's ajar.

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Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

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Why did Billy ask his father to take a baseball bat and a bird to the baseball game?

Because he liked bat man and robin.

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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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What song mentions a fly that looks like a shoe?

Shoe fly, don't bother me.

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Why did the family try to get Mark and Sam Enz to stop their argument for 10 years?

It was important to make Enz meet.

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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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What do economies and bicycle stores have in common?

They both have cycles.

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What is special about the sentence, 'See, yes we can'?

The words mean Yes in Spanish, English, French, and Hebrew.

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When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

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What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

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