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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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Why are taking good notes like a beautiful June day?

They summerize.

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What vegetable do people mention when they want to leave some place?

They say Lettuce Go.

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Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

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How do you convey to somewhat that you think they are special?

You nique.

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After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

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When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

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How do you say in one word that the media is not high quality?

Mediacrity.

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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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When did the serfs in the Middle Ages sometimes enjoy their work?

When they were Serfing.

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