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Akiva Lane
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What is this?

The leaning tower of pizza.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the flying elephant concerned about?

Of becoming air elephant.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

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Akiva Lane
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What vitamin is good for the eyes?

Vitamin see.

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Akiva Lane
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How is Jim doing at his new job hanging up clothes in the department store?

He's getting the hang of it.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a break in a wall that is very smart?

A wisecrack.

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What does a big fine for drunken driving have in common with English grammar?

Sin tax.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you usually don't mind losing?

Weight.

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