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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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Akiva Lane
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What are light bulbs that are very heavy called?

Heavy bulbs.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Matt feel about the government diverting the river that made his stream dry up?

He thought it was ex-stream.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Marty feel when the male deer stopped in front of his car?

The buck stops here.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to Bill?

He tripped while he was on a trip.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an experimental program to teach people to fly, called?

A pilot pilot program.

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Akiva Lane
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Why does hot weather seem so smart?

Because it has so many degrees.

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Shane Ronay
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What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a liquor store similar to a nursery of babies?

They both have fine whines.

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