Pictures:

What does the Constitution have in common with balancing a checkbook?

Checks and balances.

1158

Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

2143

What do employees of a pen company get when they retire?

A pen sion.

2882

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187

What's so special about Willy the window washer?

He never missed work for 37 years - the longest streak ever.

370

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

What does an audio engineer do?

Provide sound advice.

1389

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

How did Bill feel when he was trying to catch a goose?

He felt like he was on a wild goose chase.

2582

Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

1781

What was the slogan of the resort on the mountain?

Come up, and calm down.

2147

How would you describe a woman in trouble, if all you can identify is her dress?

A damsel in this dress.

1124