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What part of Queens, New York needs the most water?

Flushing.

2046

Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

1149

What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

2656

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

247

What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

607

What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

764

Why did the thief who wanted to repent always do things very quickly?

He didn't want to hold people up.

3256

Why was the uncle's wife nervous?

She was feeling 'auntsy'.

2119

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

What did the artist do before he made a sculpture of a person's head?

He had to plan a head.

1706

What is happening here?

The ketchup is trying to catch up.

2922