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Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

What is the key to the monastery called?

The monk key.

2137

Why did the kleptomaniac go to the doctor?

He wanted to know what he could take for his condition.

1654

Why did the lawyer have a fish tank in his office?

It made everything more o-fish-al.

2948

How could Ami know for sure there was an odor in the room?

She just nose.

783

Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

713

Why did the asterisk, question mark, and pound sign act up in class?

They thought they were special characters.

3310

How do you describe a fancy plane?

It's on a different plain.

1224

Why did Sunil move away from Delhi?

He found it full of baloney.

1078

What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

2825

How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

964

Why was Billy so fascinated watching the contruction worker?

He found it riveting.

88