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What is sad about parallel lines?

They have so much in common, yet they'll never meet.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bakery shoot their cake up in a rocket ship?

They want to say their cake is out-of-this-world.

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What does life have in common with arithmetic?

It has its pluses and minuses.

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Why did the tight-rope walker wear warm shoes?

He was concerned about getting cold feet.

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In the body, what is between tendon B and tendon D.

Tendency.

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Why was Fred concerned he was making too much noise while sleeping?

Because he slept so soundly.

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When Joe was very tired, why did he go to the police station?

Because he needed arrest.

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Shane Ronay
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What did the painter say when told he was supposed to paint the ship WHITE - not navy blue?

Oops - I blue it.

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Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He just couldn't handle it.

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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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Shane Ronay
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Why was this man being treated intervenously?

He had severe poison i.v.

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How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

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