Pictures:

What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

1581

What did the circus do to the trapeze artist who wasn't performing well?

It suspended him.

2211

What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

127

Why did the city clean up it's large city dump?

Because people felt that its waste line was unsightly.

1636

When Bob went camping, why did he avoid touching the tents?

He didn't want to feel tents.

1532

What is the ring called under a car where the engine engages with the wheel axel?

The engagement ring.

1152

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

A swimming pool table.

3066

What does a faucet, a clock, and an athlete have in common?

The are all running.

2625

What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

121

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548

How did Matt feel about the government diverting the river that made his stream dry up?

He thought it was ex-stream.

102