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Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068

What would happen if Earth was attacked by giant spiders from outer space?

A world wide web.

1537

What do garbanzo beans have in common with a sedative for chickens?

Chick peace.

2312

Where are the dots that are over the letter i?

The i's have it.

3041

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

1168

Which type of vehicle transports a person to the doctor when he hurts his foot?

A toe truck.

1441

Why did Arlene dislike washing the dishes?

It gave her a sinking feeling.

746

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What is the realization that all life begins as a fertilized egg?

It's egg-sistential.

614

How did the teacher feel when he realized that no one was paying attention to him?

He felt like he was the chairman of the bored.

673

How are making puns similar to oil drilling?

They both can be crude or refined.

2136

How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

585