Pictures:

Why are reading glasses called glasses?

Because they are made from plastic?

568

Where do books sleep?

Between the covers.

2375

After his cold, why did Phil feel like a pony?

Becauses he was a little hoarse.

941

What does an orchestra and a destructive mob have in common?

They both have violins.

2066

How do you get rid of weeds?

You have to get to the root of the problem.

1973

Why did the injured man show no emotion for 6 weeks?

He'd broken both his humerus and sternum.

1067

What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

2200

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

Why did Andrea make beautiful drawings?

That's how she drew attention to herself.

1423

What did the lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit.

969

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

Why did Billy ask to borrow his friend's shoes?

Because he was told not to judge someone until you stand in their shoes.

870