Pictures:

Why is this man confused?

Because he came to a fork in the road, and he can't decide what way to go.

3044

What do you call a very heavy bird that you carry?

A bird-en.

2598

A pear of scissors.

2704

Why did Max keep a safe in his house?

Everyone was telling him 'Keep safe'.

3061

What happened when the pitcher practicing in the gym threw a ball that hit the fuse box?

It became pitch dark.

2686

What is the difference between an optometrist and a psychologist?

One is an eye doctor and the other is an 'I' doctor.

3243

What did the hotdog say to his friend the apple?

I want to be frank with you.

3233

What do you call someone who steals dishes from a housewares store?

Dish-honest.

2886

What happened when the cover of the pot fell on the floor?

We put the cover back on, and now it's recovered.

3372

What song is this about?

Hit the road Jack.

2873

What is a large pair of glasses called with lots of people looking at it?

A public spectacle.

3337

Why did Bill put his left hand over the food when he finished eating?

Because the food on the plate were left-overs.

2902