Pictures:

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

Where can one find the best selection of ties?

Thailand

575

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

Why did Jerry choose to work with the elderly?

He enjoyed other Jerry-atrics.

246

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

Which dog breed echoes an overly enthusiastic relative?

A Pinscher

1521

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

What do you call the top 2 Chinese translators?

The Co-Mandarin Chiefs

73

What's this man's problem?

He has an axe to grind.

1270

Why was Fred training male deer to run fast?

To make a fast buck.

2224