Pictures:

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

What is a required course for train designers?

Pullmonology

2005

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

Which Russian leader used delay tactics as a military strategy?

Stallin'

852

What is the motto of the Gluten Intolerance Association?

The Pain of Grain Makes us Mainly Abstain.

235

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

1817

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044