Pictures:

Where in Manhattan are you most likely to find a spot for your car?

Central Park

1089

What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

1542

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548

How do mountain goats seem to defy gravity on steep slopes?

They use cliffhangers.

1113

Why did the graffiti artist stop before he was arrested for vandalism?

He read the writing on the wall.

873

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

My friend stopped working at the chemical factory.

It was a toxic work environment.

1402

How did the trucking company become so successful?

They went the extra mile.

323

What did the baseball park do when their antique organ stopped working?

They found an organ donor.

825