Pictures:

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

211

How did guests know chili would be served at the party?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1822

What happened to the dry cleaner who processed a man's jacket with a wallet left in the pocket?

He was charged with money laundering.

581

What is a good chili recipe?

Go outside without a coat.

1470

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

1542

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

Why don't some believe in Evolution?

They think it's monkey business.

1798

Who was Alexander Graham Belsky?

The first telephone Pole

281

How do mountain goats seem to defy gravity on steep slopes?

They use cliffhangers.

1113