Pictures:

What's going on here?

This man's wife asked him to hold his horses.

875

Who owns the largest number of private business aircraft?

King Lear

321

Which sea creature is stranger than a platypus?

An odder

188

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

Which nut makes people sneeze?

The ca...ca...SHEW!

790

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

Why was Fred training male deer to run fast?

To make a fast buck.

2224

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

How did the asphalt worker react to his foot being run over by a steam roller?

He was quite impressed.

582

Why do some people love bowling?

It's right up their alley.

1263

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

How to refer to someone who suddenly became a grandmother?

An Instagram

2489