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Why did the homeowner get upset that he had to install this?

He just needed to vent.

639

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

What is the proper way to greet a hand truck?

Hello dolly!

196

Why did the baker always make jokes about bread?

To get a rise out of people.

420

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

Why did J.K. Rowling stop writing Harry Potter books after book 7?

That's all she wrote.

1305

What do attorneys wear to court when representing clients?

Their law suits.

1097

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What do you call a broken garbage receptacle?

A has bin.

72