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What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

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What did the man say after talking to the porcupine?

You have a lot of good points.

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How did light bulbs get their name?

They are not heavy.

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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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What phrase both applies and does not apply to the Titanic?

"Icy" does apply. 'I see" does not apply.

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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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What do you call an ocean that fools the boats that are on it?

Hypocra Sea.

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What month should you be careful not to buy fake jewelry?

Jewel lie.

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Why was Billy so fascinated watching the contruction worker?

He found it riveting.

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What is the plural of why?

Wise.

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Why did the father bring a broken cup to the family meal?

He wanted to play good-cup bad-cup with his kids.

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