Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a lumber mill have in common with a computer?

They both have logs.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the heaviest Chinese soup?

One Ton soup.

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What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

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Why was Maxine confused about how seriously to take Allen?

She didn't know if he was "Sir Real" or "Surreal".

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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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How do trees feel in the spring?

After the winter, they felt releaved.

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How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good motto for a sausage company?

We make the best wurst.

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Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

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Akiva Lane
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What is MOM spelled upside down?

WOW!

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