Pictures:

What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

1054

What does a lumber mill have in common with a computer?

They both have logs.

2958

What is the heaviest Chinese soup?

One Ton soup.

2935

What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

2849

Why was Maxine confused about how seriously to take Allen?

She didn't know if he was "Sir Real" or "Surreal".

2043

What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

2440

How do trees feel in the spring?

After the winter, they felt releaved.

2554

How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

159

What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

886

What is a good motto for a sausage company?

We make the best wurst.

1032

Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

1971

What is MOM spelled upside down?

WOW!

586