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Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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What animal does Niagara Falls remind us of?

Buffalo, because that's where Niagara Falls is.

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What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

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Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

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What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

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What are some states that have a lot of problems?

State of flux, state of shock, state of confusion, and state of denial.

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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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Why did the mathematician plant an apple tree?

He knew how to multiply, so in addition he wanted to be fruitful.

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'Mer' in French means the sea. Why didn't Jules want to visit the sea at night?

That would be a night mer.

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What's the difference between a couple who are dating and a fire?

When the couple goes out, it progresses. When the fire goes out, it ends.

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