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Why was the king nauseous?

Because the people were revolting.

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What can you take, and still leave things where they are?

Take a walk, take a nap, take a look, take a break, take a picture, and take a shower.

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How did Bill like his new job working as a chauffeur?

Chauffeur so good.

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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

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Why did the prisoner eat food he was allergic to?

He wanted to break out.

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What is a soda with a dye in it called?

Dye it soda.

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What was the flying elephant concerned about?

Of becoming air elephant.

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What is a trumpet made from a shoe called?

A shoe horn.

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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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