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Why is moving from one house to another like fighting?

Because it involves boxing.

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What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

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What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

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How did Sam's parents react when he threw the cereal in the garbage without eating it.

They said he was a cereal killer.

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What is a good name for a store that sells sofas?

Sofa so good.

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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

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What do sales people, bartenders, and baseball teams have in common?

They all have pitchers.

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Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

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What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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