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Akiva Lane
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Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

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Akiva Lane
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Melissa feel when she found out, after waiting in line, that the concert was sold out?

She found it disconcerting.

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Akiva Lane
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When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of static is very happy?

Ecstatic.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alan say to the gas station after he filled his car gas tank?

Tank you.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a fish that can't sing?

An out-of-tune a fish.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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